My Point of View on Point of View - Part One
     Victoria Grossack

In many previous columns, I’ve mentioned point of view (POV), without going deep into the matter. POV is a large and complicated topic, and your POV choices have many implications for your storytelling. Because of this, I’ve divided my thoughts on the subject into two articles. In this article, the first, we will consider the definition of POV and look at some examples of a passage being told from several different POVs. In the second article, which will appear in next month’s Fiction Fix, we will consider the implications of the application of POV for your storytelling – as well as some ways to get around strictures that may seem too limiting.

Person - definition

POV and person are two concepts which are frequently confused with each other. There is some overlap – both deal with determining through which of your characters the reader experiences your story – but they are not the same.

Person refers to the grammatical perspective, and can be first, second or third.

I tell this story. This is first person (singular).

You tell this story. This is second person (this sentence doesn’t give us enough information to determine whether this is singular or plural).

He tells this story. This is third person (singular).

Most stories are told in third person; many are told in first person (think of Daphne Du Maurier’s Rebecca). At least one novel by Tom Robbins is in second person (Half Asleep in Frog Pajamas), but I mention this only for completeness; I won’t bring it up for analysis.

POV – definition and examples

POV refers to the viewpoint of a character through which the events of the story are experienced. If you are in first person, then the narrator’s POV is nearly always the POV for the story. If you are writing in third person, you can choose to remain with a single character for your entire work; you can skip around; or you can use the omniscient third person.

In order to make this easier for you to understand, here are several versions of the same passage:

First Person POV – Kate

Dad twisted the cap off the beer bottle. I glanced at the clock over the kitchen sink. It was his third in less than an hour.

“How are you feelin’, Kate?” he asked, his tone friendly despite the alcohol. “You ready for the big day?”

I scratched the mosquito bite on my arm and did my best to smile at him, even though I was exhausted from the pregnancy and a wave of nausea hit me. “As ready as I can be, I guess.”

“All your dreams are comin’ true. You’re gonna live in that big house.”

“Yeah,” I said, nibbling on a cracker. I passed Springville’s only mansion – the Marshall Manor – twice most days, as I made my way from the trailer park to the school and back. Now I was going to move into it, thanks to the fact that Thomas Marshall IV, my pimply-faced classmate whose appearance was not worthy of his rich and handsome forefathers, had gotten me pregnant. We were getting married tomorrow. Despite our youth, his mother had consented, and my wedding dress, a gift from the Marshalls, hung from a hook before my tiny closet. “I’m going to bed now.”

“Now?” asked my father. “You’re not staying up with me?”

“I’m really tired.” I went to the corner where my bed was, and stretched out on the thin mattress. Even though the evening was oppressively warm, I covered myself with a sheet. And even though I had so much to think about, so much to anticipate, I fell asleep at once.

I woke while it was still dark. I was so hot that I was sweating.

What sort of night was it, which got hotter instead of cooler? I pushed the sheet off me; a wave of nausea hit me, for the air smelled funny.

I blinked for a moment in the darkness, then sprang out of bed, darting over to my father and shaking his shoulder. “Dad! Wake up! The trailer’s on fire!”

Comments: Some authors feel that writing the word “I” over and over is too annoying. They may also feel that writing in the first person does not give them enough scope, for the story is limited to whatever is experienced or discovered by Kate and nothing else is permitted.

Third Person Limited POV – Kate

Her father twisted the cap off the beer bottle. She glanced at the clock over the kitchen sink. It was his third in less than an hour.

“How are you feelin’, Kate?” he asked, and his tone seemed friendly despite the alcohol. “You ready for the big day?”

She scratched the mosquito bite on her arm and did her best to smile at him, even though she was exhausted from the pregnancy and a wave of nausea hit her. “As ready as I can be, I guess.”

“All your dreams are comin’ true. You’re gonna live in that big house.”

“Yeah,” she said, nibbling on a cracker. She passed Springville’s only mansion – the Marshall Manor – twice most days, as she made her way from the trailer park to the school and back. Now she was going to move into it, thanks to the fact that Thomas Marshall IV, her pimply-faced classmate whose appearance was not worthy of his rich and handsome forefathers, had gotten her pregnant. They were getting married tomorrow. Despite their youth, his mother had consented, and Kate’s wedding dress, a gift from the Marshalls, hung from a hook before her tiny closet. “I’m going to bed now.”

“Now?” he asked. “You’re not staying up with me?”

“I’m really tired.” She went to the corner where her bed was, and stretched out on the thin mattress. Even though the evening was oppressively warm, she covered herself with a sheet. And even though she had so much to think about, so much to anticipate, she fell asleep at once.

She woke while it was still dark. She was so hot that she was sweating.

What sort of night was it, which got hotter instead of cooler? She pushed off the sheet; a wave of nausea hit her, for the air smelled funny.

She blinked for a moment in the darkness, then sprang out of bed and shook her father’s shoulder. “Dad! Wake up! The trailer’s on fire!”

Comments: Even though the person has changed, from first to third, the story is very much the same. This is as it should be, for the POV is still Kate’s, so the story is not changed. As in the first person narration, we are limiting ourselves to whatever is experienced or discovered by Kate. Note that shiftng from first person to third person still requires attention to detail; even after several editing sessions, I was still catching pronouns that needed to be altered.

Third Person Limited POV - George, Kate’s Dad

George twisted the cap off the beer bottle. It was his third, but the air was hot and the beer was cold. Besides, drinking was a sight easier than talking to his pregnant teenage daughter.

“How are you feelin’, Kate?” he asked, trying to make conversation. “You ready for the big day?”

She scratched a mosquito bite on her arm. “As ready as I can be, I guess.”

“All your dreams are comin’ true. You’re gonna live in that big house.”

“Yeah,” she said, nibbling on a cracker. “I’m going to bed now.”

“Now?” he asked, unable to keep the disappointment out of his voice. “You’re not staying up with me?”

“I’m really tired.”

He knew she could not wait to get away from him and this trailer. Hell, he could understand that! He’d like to live in a big house, too. But he was stuck here; he couldn’t bat his eyelashes at some pimply-faced rich boy and get himself pregnant.

Women had it good. They latched on to some male, and if he didn’t provide enough in the way of shoes and entertainment, they just dumped him and moved on. Like Jill, Kate’s mother, nearly eight years ago.

George pulled out another beer. It was going to be a long, dull evening. First Jill, now Kate – before she finished high school, even. It was going to be a long, dull life.

He watched the fireflies blinking and glanced hopefully at the window of the next trailer over – sometimes he could see the woman next door changing. But the window was dark. He drained his bottle. He needed a lot of beer before he could sleep like Kate was doing in the corner. But he finally staggered to his own bed.

He was dreaming of wandering around a mansion in search of his trailer when a hand shook his shoulder. “Wha--?” he asked.

“Dad! Wake up! The trailer’s on fire!”

Comments: You will see that the passage from George’s POV is significantly different from the two passages from Kate’s POV. The passage now incorporates George’s thoughts and feelings, as well as what he experiences.

There are also more subtle differences with respect to the use of language. Instead of “the” mosquito bite, it becomes “a” mosquito bite, because George would probably not assign particular significance to a mosquito bite.

Again, because we are using the limited variant of POV, the reader only has access to whatever is experienced or discovered by George.

Third Person Limited Multiple – Both Kate & George

Thirsty, he twisted the cap off the beer bottle. She glanced at the clock over the kitchen sink. It was his third in less than an hour.

Comments: This actually shows both POVs within the same paragraph. The word “thirsty” indicates that it is George’s POV, for he is better positioned to understand how he physically feels. The next two sentences are really from Kate’s POV, because she’s the one glancing at the clock and apparently counting her father’s beers.

Let’s continue with this version of the passage:

“How are you feelin’, Kate?” he asked, the beer giving him the strength to make conversation with his pregnant daughter. “You ready for the big day?”

She scratched the mosquito bite on her arm and did her best to smile at him, even though she was exhausted from the pregnancy and a wave of nausea hit her. “As ready as I can be, I guess.”

“All your dreams are comin’ true. You’re gonna live in that big house.”

“Yeah,” she said, nibbling on a cracker. She had passed Springville’s only mansion – the Marshall Manor – twice most days, as she made her way from the trailer park to the school and back. Now she was going to move into it, thanks to the fact that Thomas Marshall IV, her pimply-faced classmate whose appearance was not worthy of his rich and handsome forefathers, had gotten her pregnant. They were getting married tomorrow. Despite their youth, his mother had consented, and Kate’s wedding dress, a gift from the Marshalls, hung from a hook before her tiny closet. “I’m going to bed now.”

“Now?” he asked, unable to keep the disappointment out of his voice. “You’re not staying up with me?”

“I’m really tired.” She went to the corner where her bed was, and stretched out on the thin mattress. Even though the evening was oppressively warm, she covered herself with a sheet. And even though she had so much to think about, so much to anticipate, she fell asleep at once.

George knew she could not wait to get away from him and this trailer. Hell, he could understand that! He’d like to live in a big house, too. But he was stuck here; he couldn’t bat his eyes at some pimply-faced rich boy and get himself pregnant.

Women had it good. They latched on to some male, and if he didn’t provide enough in the way of shoes and entertainment, they just dumped him and moved on. Like Jill, Kate’s mother, nearly eight years ago.

George pulled out another beer. It was going to be a long, dull evening. First Jill, now Kate – before she finished high school, even. It was going to be a long, dull life.

He watched the fireflies blinking and glanced hopefully at the window of the next trailer over – sometimes he could see the woman next door changing. But the window was dark. He drained his bottle. He needed a lot of beer before he could sleep like Kate was doing in the corner. But he finally staggered to his own bed.

Kate woke while it was still dark. She was so hot that she was sweating.

What sort of night was it, which got hotter instead of cooler? She pushed off the sheet; a wave of nausea hit her, for the air smelled funny.

She blinked for a moment in the darkness, then sprang out of bed and went to her father’s side.

He was dreaming of wandering around a mansion in search of his trailer when a hand shook his shoulder. “Wha--?” he asked.

“Dad! Wake up! The trailer’s on fire!”

Comments: In the passage above we see the POV of both Kate and George. One consequence of showing both POVs is that the passage simply takes longer – a result of there being more story to tell. I confess to not liking hopping between heads – especially within a single paragraph – but some very successful authors do it occasionally.

Third Person Omniscient

The father and the daughter sat together in the small trailer. The daughter was counting the minutes until she could go to bed, partly because she wanted the morning to come sooner, and have this last day of living with her father be finished, and partly because she was so unreasonably tired. She supposed it was the pregnancy that made her tired, although why it should, she didn’t know.

The father was also uncomfortable. He twisted the cap off another beer bottle and brought it to his lips. Finally he spoke. “How you feelin’, Kate? You ready for the big day?”

Comments: Notice how these two paragraphs (all that I will cover in this section) don’t delve as deeply inside the head of either of the characters, but are more distant, referring to the characters as “the father” and “the daughter.” Instead, this POV addresses the reader more directly. You may opt to remain in this POV. Or, you may opt to begin in this POV, a sort of introduction for the reader, and then slip into a writing style which is more intimately linked to one of the characters. Switching between the omniscient and the limited third is done quite often.

Intermission

Hopefully, the examples in this column will help you to recognize the differences between the various versions of POV. Although as a writer you may shift between POVs, you may mix and match, doing so requires care. If you are writing a novel in third person limited from Kate’s POV, you should pause before inserting a single paragraph from George’s POV. Breaking POV – especially going from one character’s head to another – can be jarring for the reader, or even confusing. Your decision to break this POV should be deliberate rather than haphazard.

There’s much, much more that can be said about POV, so in next month’s column we will continue this difficult and sometimes subtle subject. If, however, you feel moved to contact me in the interim, you may do so at grossackva at yahoo dot com.

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About the Writer:

Victoria Grossack is, with Alice Underwood, the internationally published author of Iokaste: The Novel of the Mother-Wife of Oedipus, and other books coming out in the series called the Tapestry of Bronze (Tapestry of Bronze.com).  You can also read more of her articles on writing by ordering the e-book, Levels of Structure in Fiction from  www.booklocker.com.  

Victoria was a moderator of a critique group for Coffeehouse for Writers and teaches the From Leaves to Forests and Writing Historical Fiction workshops for Coffeehouse for Writers.